y tú mama tambien
hot summer nights are here to stay as of this lovely may 13th~ thank god for this ceiling fan I have now, yall don't understand the pain of California desert-valley heat on the second story of a two-story home in the only room in the whole house that doesn't have air conditioning. I'm home sick from work because my autoimmune disease is flaring up and rendering me disabled until further notice. 🎉
I'm unable to sit or sleep or stand or walk or even lie down comfortably so the best way to pass the time was to watch Y Tú Mama Tambien (2001). twitter contrarians won today, luca guadagnino really can't rival the homoeroticism of a Mexican director.
guy who's only seen challengers: getting some serious challengers vibes from this...
but truly, this film is reeeeeeeeeally good. really good. shoutout my fujoshis out there who have been running the grassroots movement to get ppl to watch this movie, you got me.
though the gay stuff only happened in the last 15 mins, the build-up was great and the characterization of Tenoch and Julio from the start to end of the movie really sold me on how fateful the resulting scenes would be. from what I've seen, in films and stories like this one, what occurs is a codependent relationship between two guys where they each get so wrapped up in each other's lives, encroaching on boundaries and lack of boundaries, that they do horrible things out of spite to the other, spite that simmers and goes unaddressed by either boy, all out of desire. lust, even? whatever it is, it is undercut with fierce jealousy. jealousy of what the other has, what the other is doing, jealousy of the person they're fucking, the girls they're spending their time with.
but is this gay in itself? is it gay, or homoerotic, to want to be the sole object of affection to your best friend, your best friend? sure, the hookup is gay, the action of it inherently homosexual, but are they gay? does it really matter?
I think this question of "Is it gay?" is what shell shocks many men and boys who find themselves in this predicament. your best friend, if you're a good friend, will receive the most tender bits of you, they'll receive your kindness, your vulnerability, even your romance. they see the love you're capable of up close and personal. this is especially true for a childhood best friend. you're both moving through the awkwardness of first crushes, navigating infatuation and love, learning your types, your turn-ons and turn-offs in relationships and in people. but where you were once in sync as simple children, you now diverge in opinion and preference. there is a wound that opens in the parts of your spirit where you are conjoined, and you fear that these differences will fester into an infection that no amount of "yeah, I guess"-es or "agree to disagree"-s can heal or fix. where you used to see eye to eye, one has now hit a growth spurt, and you can't bear the thought that plagues the back of your mind, and wakes you up in a cold sweat.
they've outgrown me.
and so you hurt each other, deeply, but quietly. you refuse arguments and return to the childish innocence you both shared, attempting to do many of your firsts together and bring fun back into your relationship. all the while, being devious enough to sleep with each other's girlfriends, even their mother (dick move, julio). all because you desperately crave to go back and be one again.
"Julio and Tenoch told her many other stories. Each story reinforced their bond, creating an inseparable entity."
fwiw, I don't think they're gay, though this could lead to some sort of awakening if explored, like Patrick Zwieg being bisexual. I think when you're so close to a person, especially a best friend, it can genuinely transcend any word or definition or label one could put upon it in that moment. but obvi, looking back they can see it for what it was. say it with me, twitter bisexuals: a platonic homoerotic codependent relationship with your best friend! blah blah blah, sometimes your soulmate is a man, blah blah blah, male bisexuality, blah blah blah, toxic masculinity... been there done that.
I think that's all I have to say about it tbh. I'll write more if more comes to me. five stars though ★★★★★
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