timestamp 09.12
I posted like every day last week and this is my first post this week lol. hi guys
jumping straight into it:
fav things
- music: generally, rnb. I'm currently making an attempt to have my top genre on my spotify wrapped not be pop, which has never happened! does it matter? no. but am I doing it regardless? yes! so, I've been listening to a lot of outkast, sleepy brown, and male rnb singers from my childhood.
I actually used to seriously hate male singers and male rnb singers specifically as a kid. how times change :)
TV: I legit have not watched TV in weeks now. still need to catch up on Industry lol.
film: goodfellas. need a rewatch asapppppp
interests: watercolor is still my dear friend but I'm also enjoying drawing in the margins of my classwork.
purchases: not really shopping much tbh but my amaco watercolor glaze sets are so dear to me.
outings: going swimming. also having a music video night with my friend this past Sunday. sooooooooooooo good.
I'm recovering from the future I had in mind and have let go of. #NAWT doing teaching anymore, which is wild but not wild at all to say. I think I'm very content with my little after-school program job and I'm grateful for what it is and what it's giving me, time with my kids. I have always wanted to do something related to kids, and now that I have it has affirmed to me why that want was there in the first place and its value. but teaching as a career? 🥴
I think what I really want is a room. I've been dying to have a classroom. I had one for a whopping three months and promptly lost it, and I'm just itching for the day we get them back. y'all don't even know the decor I have in mind. and I don't have to pay for any of it!!!! my job does that! man pinterest is going to be SICK of me.
but also I think being a school counselor as a future career could be really good. I love talking to my babies (when it's time for talking...) and I love hearing their little thoughts and dreams about the future. I also really love helping them work through problems and just listening to them vent at times, so I think being a counselor would really do a lot for me. but that's for later.
for now I just want a job. I want a job that pays, and pays well at that. my job does NOT pay well, despite how much I love it. and despite the love I have for it, I do not love the toll to my health I'm put through!
so I'm thinking about my life and what I want out of it. and what I want are a few main things.
travelling. I NEED a Mexican summer and a Dominican spring, I do not care. how am I gonna do that on a teacher's salary? and I'm not trying to get married. on a smaller scale, I wanna go out for weekends with the girls in San Diego, catch a flight to Aspen in the Winter, fly out to see oomfs every now and then, have a stay-cay and get some r&r. that's the life I need!
hobbies. I'm doing ceramics now at my CC, but those classes are running out SOON. memberships at private studios are craaaaaazyyy costly! can't do that on a teacher's salary and where would I find the time when I need to be making lesson plans and grading assignments all day?
hanging out. people don't value enough the privilege that is chilling with your friends. if there is nothing else in the world, all I need to survive is a sesh with the girlies. I can't be so busy with work I'm taking home that I can't make the time to chill with my friends.
little luxuries. I need a spa day. needs to be a quarterly event. I want an esthetician, I want to be a regular at a pilates studio, I want a fluffy white robe and percale sheets, and I want to stop buying fast fashion. very costly, very worth it.
I'm expensive and spoiled, it came with the birth certificate. but I'm dedicated, determined, and have high self-efficacy. so I will make this happen no matter what. and if I change my mind on all of this in two months, don't @ me.
in other news.
my job is so unorganized and such a hot mess atp I can't even stress myself about it. I will just do my best.
I really appreciate whoever said that you should revisit the hobbies you had as a child because you might be much better at them now than you were then. tapping back into drawing has been lovely and so encouraging, but I don't want to push myself too far and drop it again, so I'm going slow.
I'm leading the arts and crafts club at my job right now and it is very surprising what I've found that I'm able to do. like woah, I can actually draw and paint and even help my kids with doing the same thing. that is crazy.
I was hoping I could have my artist friends and acquaintances come in to teach my kids so I'd have the very easy job of just making sure they all behave, but that has sadly but predictably fallen through. so now I have several disciplines to teach them, that I promised they would learn about. so this is the beginning of my photography era I guess. and painting. and pastels. and classical drawing. and sewing. I'm every woman, it's all in meeeeeeeeee!
but everything is good, ultimately. I'm happy, my kids are happy, and school is cool again (I've figured out that I just sincerely hate online classes). we'll see where I am with all of this in two months time. I reserve the right to be fickle and inconsistent.
bye guys <3