reassurance
just got home from going out for drinks with my coworkers (the school year just ended). I wasn't particularly excited because we were going with the charter school(my school's campus is split up into two different schools; my school and the charter) and I had a bad experience with charter earlier in the year so I was not trying to sit around awkwardly with them for an hour. but it went well.
we're connected through my coworker who works for the charter during the day and with us in the afternoon. I was the first to get there out of me and my coworkers and she introduced me to them. the two girls I had had an issue with were very nice, though they brought up the issue.
the issue in question
an eighth grader from the charter school was harassing two of my kids, a second and a fourth grader. they were holding hands as they walked and talked. he shouted at them, calling them lesbians and other homophobic and uncomfortable things. my coworker confronted the proctors outside about how they weren't addressing the situation and were instead talking to each other and on their phones, not even facing their kids who were crossing onto our part of the field. they said they'll have him sit out.
personally, I'm steaming mad seeing my kids upset and scared, as they weren't even going to tell us, my coworker was just there at the moment to hear it. it's one thing for your kids to be crossing onto our part of the field and harassing my kids, but it's another thing to stand there and do nothing about it.
anyway, my coworker leaves to go back inside. again, their kids cross onto our side of the field and, again, the two proctors are faced away from them and on their phones. I'm already mad, so I'm steaming hot as I go over there to tell them AGAIN to keep their kids where they're supposed to be. they say that they're sorry and the kids don't always listen. I leave.
I'm sitting with my second grader and she's telling me about the situation, I'm getting angrier by the minute because literally how fucking dare you. and AGAIN, their kids are crossing over to our side of the field. so I stomp over there one last time. this time I'm, like, boiling over. I tell them to keep an eye on their kids and that I don't want to have any more issues with them because they keep harassing my kids. I ask for the two proctors' names and that kid's name because, at this point, I'm talking to the principal. they give me their names and act like they don't know the kid's name. luckily, his teacher came outside at that moment, gave me the kid's name, and called the kid over. kid's like, shitting his pants at this point and scared to tell me his last name. I really don't give a fuck, how are you 13 harassing my 7 and 10-year-old? I get his name and leave.
they say something along the lines of, "oh hey! we met before, but you were about to rip my head off haha"
and I say something along the lines of, "yeah! but that's behind us now, I don't hold anything against you guys."
I get to know more about them, what it's like at the charter, and what it's like dealing with my school which hates them for suddenly taking half of our campus. I understand a lot more about what they do, what their role is, their struggles, and how things look from their perspective. we connect on some things and share some heart-to-hearts about things that have happened with our respective students. the night goes on.
towards the end, as my coworkers and I are wrapping up and becoming increasingly startled by just how fucking drunk the charter staff is, we grab our stuff to leave and say our goodbyes. I go to say goodbye to the two proctors and one stops me and says,
"Honestly, god bless you for looking out for those kids and taking care of them. if you didn't nobody else would. it's a blessing that they have someone who cares so much about them."
and, seriously, that touched my heart. one thing about my teaching and classroom management style is that I am strict first and nice later. it's been like that since the moment I started working at this job and it has not changed. my kids are well-behaved and listen well because of this. and even though I'm not the fun one, I am the one who can get these kids together and act right.
so, even though I'm not a smiler and I'm not sweet and gentle with my kids, I still love them very much. and if anything happens to them, I take it very seriously.
sometimes I worry that my kids are unhappy and they're not having fun while they're with us because I am so strict and serious. but then I get a moment like that, and it reassures me that I'm doing something right here.
or when one of my kids's teachers sees how I manage my kids and tells me that I'd be a good teacher. or when they tell us how much their students have improved while they're in our program.
or when one of my favorite girls, who, every day, comes into the cafeteria and the first thing she asks is, "Miss Kristin, can I be your helper?" and when I say yes, immediately asks, "When you sit down, can I sit right next to you?", tells me that she loves being my helper and everybody loves to be right next to me.
or when I've been out sick and come back to work, and the new sub tells me, "You sit down and all the kids gravitate to you, even though you aren't doing anything."
it tells me I'm doing something right. it's reassuring. and I needed that.
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